FACES OF MASCULINITY
AN ON GOING PROJECT BASED AROUND MEN’S MENTAL AND THE STIGMA OF SHOWING EMOTION, ITS OK TO NOT BE OK.
Sean Gallagher.
Having lost my father to an overdose when I was 10 years of age the concept of masculinity hit me square in the face at a crucial time in child development. Over night I felt I had to become the man of the house for my younger brother and mum.
To me that meant toughness, protectiveness, showing no emotion etc and it has stuck with me to this very day, I haven’t cried or let many people see or hear my emotions for a long time.
I thought surely on the day my daughter was born I would cry tears of joy and happiness but even then they didn’t come. If you know someone who might be struggling just try and help find a way for them to talk about it.
Cam Cooney.
Seeing a male family member cry is the rawest emotion I’ve ever experienced. You feel it in every part of your body. Crying is the biggest release I’ve experienced, its like a brick wall crumbling away from the chest. My biggest personal growths have came after tears; not after punch ups, being apathetic or raging with anger.
The social pressure to be an emotionless male is intense and the moment we start being honest about our pain, our emotions and our anger, then the less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary they come.
Francis Smith.
I had one really bad anxiety attack in an office job I had a few years ago that stopped me from going back.
Things got so on top of me, and I hadn’t experienced such stress and anxiety up until that moment in my life. I was constantly worried about what people thought of me, or if anyone was annoyed at me, or if I was going to lose everything tomorrow. I would think all my internal thoughts were too dramatic and walk around with a constant weighty feeling of dread.
It’s only been the last few years we as a society are talking about anxiety openly, that I found it wasn’t something to be ashamed of and the stigma has been lessened — especially with men.
The first step to coming to terms to having an anxious disposition, is being honest with yourself and to people around you, and surrounding yourself with supportive and empathetic people.
If it wasn’t for my traumatic experiences with anxiety in the past I probably wouldn’t be in the amazing place I am in now - personally, professional and mentally.
Daniel Buckingham.
You’re not alone.
Jonathan Bismark.
Learning to move past "man up" and prioritize my mental health has been my most important personal breakthrough, and it was only possible because of the people in my life who made themselves open and available for genuine, non-judgemental conversation.
It is often a real struggle to open up about difficult/traumatic experiences, emotions, and anxieties as a man, but the more we do, the faster we move past the pain and stigma.
Pay close attention to your mental health and find people to confide in. At the same time, look out for the people in your life and try to be the person they can open up to.
Jamie Donoghue.
There are still times when I am sitting with my son and the thought goes through my head: where would I be now if I hadn’t said “I am struggling”? I know the answer of course, and it makes me hold him that bit tighter.
I have had agoraphobia and generalised anxiety for almost 20 years. For too many years, I tried to hide the symptoms with alcohol and this inevitably made things much, much worse.
It was an overwhelming fear of embarrassment and shame caused by the ridiculous belief that it wasn’t ‘very manly’ to talk about my well-being which silenced me. This ingrained notion that I couldn’t discuss my mental health, or even cry - the body’s natural way to regulate emotion - stole years from me.
When I finally said that I needed help, it was the day that things began to get better. It wasn’t weakness which made me say it. It was the moment that I found strength to say that my mental illness was no longer going to dictate my life.
Lee Davidson.
I began to suffer from mental health issues in my late 20's. 'A Career', how successful am I? Those were the questions that entered my head most days. I was growing a wedding photography business at this point with some success but a lot of stress too. Why am I not gaining work? Am I good enough? Lots of questions that I didn't know how to answer. Which in time takes it's toll on your mental well being. Without the support of my loved ones I might still be in the frame of mind or worse. Today I feel more in control. Recently I have made the move away from the wedding industry and looking at another career in retail management. On occasion I wake up feeling like I don't want to get out of bed. We all have a mind and sometimes it doesn't want to comply with you. Talking is the best way to start dealing with your mental health.
Alex Asensi.
I suffered from depression two years ago. I lost a loved one, my job was over and everything happened within a toxic relationship. All that gutted me inside and since then I still feel the weight of all that. Since then I am stronger, or so I want to think. But I would not have overcome everything if I had not sought help from the people around me and who love me. Speak, express yourself if you feel pain and everything will be fine little by little.
Keir Mathieson.
I suffered with depression and anxiety for three and half years before I sought help. Mental health is a topic that is still far too overlooked and not enough is being done to bring about the much needed positive change to the way society views it. I struggled alone for a long time before asking for help because I didn’t feel anyone would support me. Three years after receiving treatment I am in a much better place, a more “normal” place. But I still feel the stigma attached to living with mental health issues. We all need to educate ourselves and be there for each other in a real way, not just supporting awareness of mental health when it’s trendy to do so.